Death Story

Megan Keany
Dr. El-Tantawy
November 4, 2008
Death Story
“The only two jobs I’ve ever had are life guarding and working at a funeral home,” says Neil Whitaker, director of Sechrest Funeral Home in High Point, N.C.
What he likes about working in the death industry is the personal reward of helping families honor their loved ones and put them to rest. “I don’t want to just know about Mr. Smith, tell me about his hobbies, what did he do? I’m serving his family, but I want to know what I can do to make this tribute more personal to him,” Neil says. He feels that families appreciate that about Sechrest which is the oldest funeral home in High Point.
Neil encountered a personal experience himself a few years ago when he received a call that his friend Michael was dying. He was unaware that his friend was at the point of death until Michael’s wife called Neil to inform him. “Michael wants to talk to you. He has a special request and doesn’t think he can get it,” the wife told Neil. Michael’s wife told Neil to come see his friend. Neil asked if he could go to their home the next afternoon because he had a funeral service to oversee in the morning.
At 3:30 p.m. the next day, Neil arrived at Michael’s house. Michael had terminal cancer and was sitting on his reclining chair. The previous night, after Neil had talked to Michael’s wife, Michael was rushed to the hospital after having a major attack and could no longer speak. He could only acknowledge Neil by shaking his head. The end of Michael’s life was approaching.
Neil sat down next to his friend and said, “I understand you want some specific things.” Michael shook his head.
Neil asked, “Does your wife, Mary, know?” Michael shook his head.
“I’m going to step outside and talk to Mary,” Neil told him.
Neil went outside on this warm, fall day. The sun was shining as Mary told him her husband wanted a cowboy funeral.
“He what? As in cowboys?” Neil asked, confused.
Michael was a unique man. He raised championship mules, which to the average person are just mules, but to Michael were high dollar, world champion animals.
“I found out that one weekend every two months, there is a group of about 150 people from Virginia to Georgia who get together and bring their horses and go on camping trips on the trail. Attorneys, doctors, professionals, all part of this group.” Michael loved attending these camping trips.
The only type of cowboy funeral Neil knew in his mind was the ones he’s seen on T.V.
Mary told him that was exactly what Michael wanted. Michael was a petite man with a handle bar mustache that hung just below his chin.
Neil walked back into the house and told Michael he would take care of his requests. Michael stared at him.
“I’m not saying this just to appease you. I promise you I am going to take care of this, Mike.”
Michael looked over to his wife, Mary and she confirmed, “Neil will do it.”
Michael smiled at Neil as he stood up to leave. Neil returned to the funeral home.
When Neil walked through the glass doors of Sechrest Funeral Home his coworker told him to turn around and go back. Michael had died. “Within 30 minutes of me leaving him, he was dead,” Neil says.
Neil is a collector of old funeral memorabilia. He collects antique caskets and that sort of thing. He wanted to use an old wicker casket he had in his collection to put Michael’s body in, but instead they used a coffin they had at the funeral home that was a smooth, cherry wood. It was old-fashioned and the only way to view the body is to take the top completely off.
They dressed Michael in his western shirt and pants. “They embalmed him like that because that’s what they did in the olden days,” Neil says as he crosses his hands over his chest.
Neil put Michael’s boots on the bottom of the coffin and his cowboy hat on the top. Michael had been a Vietnam veteran and had a military funeral. Neil had a horse saddle strapped on top of the coffin to add another special touch.
They got to the cemetery which was in a rural area. They stopped the funeral coach about 3 quarters of a mile away from the main road to the church. They had a wagon with a buck board and Michael’s two championship mules attached to it.
“We took the coffin out of the coach and put it on the buck board and all of us walked to the gravesite,” Neil recalls.
As Neil speaks of Michael’s funeral, he seems calm, like he is remembering something he is proud of. “It was the right thing to do. It felt natural to do that for Mike,” he says.
At Sechrest Funeral Home, the staff works their hardest to ensure that every funeral is as personal as Michael’s. “It is not a 5 day a week job. It is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week occupation,” Neil says.
After 39 years of working with death, Neil still loves his job because he learns a lot about people. It is a personal and rewarding experience for him. “Not everyone is designed to be a funeral director just like not everyone is designed to be a mechanic or a clothing designer. It is what fit, what worked for me.”
Surely Michael is smiling down on Neil, grateful for Neil’s dedication and agreeing that this is where Neil is meant to be.
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